We have now
been home for just over three weeks. J3s heart cath showed that everything was
working as expected. Since, J3 was healthy but quickly out growing his
plumbing, the cardiologists and the surgeon decided it would be better to
proceed with the Fontan, the final surgery in a three part series. This went
better than expected. However, I want to back up some.
I have
learned to trust my instincts when it comes to my children’s health. I knew we
were approaching this phase of J3s care even before our last clinic visit. I
had hoped to push it off to the summer, but it is far better to do the work
while he has the energy to fight than wait until he is sick and struggling. I
shed many tears, as did my husband, but it was my middle son, J2, who gave me
an insurmountable level of comfort. He sought me out in those moments I needed
to be alone. Knocked persistently when my door was shut. In his arms telling
me, “Everything will be okay,” I found peace in his untroubled innocence. He
above many who gave me comfort in my time of need forced me to reach down and
remember to, “be still, and know that I am God” (Psalms 46:10). Did that mean
that I felt everything would turn out great? No! What that meant was the
acceptance that whatever was to come, things would be okay.
I took my son
to the threshold of surgery knowing that whatever happened, I would be okay. My
family would survive.
I am thankful
that J3 went in and come out fighting. He fought the “goofy juice” that turned
my strong little boy into bumbling comedic relief giving the situation. Surgery
was both shorter and longer than expected. Two of the major concerns is the
stopping of the heart and brain damage. There was a great since of relief to
find out that his heart started by itself. As for the brain damage, well, we
knew he was okay when he asked for pizza coming out of anesthesia. We returned
home ten days later.
Of course, we
returned to two sick children, and have been passing around a number of
illnesses for the past three weeks.
I am thankful
for my mother-in-law who came down and stayed for three weeks to take care of
the older boys. For the church members who made her feel welcomed. I am
thankful for the prayers and support we received during this time of turmoil. I
appreciate my teachers, who allowed me to be absent, and the teachers of my
children, who were understanding when they began to act out. I appreciate my
mother who listened to my fears and rants and coming up for the heart cath just
in case we ended up having to stay in the hospital at that time.
I am a
thankful person and hope that the next time I see the inside of a hospital will
be many decades from now.
